Before You Retaliate, Calculate the Cost

Before You Retaliate, Calculate the Cost By Rick Warren — Oct 24, 2016 “People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness” (Proverbs 14:29 NLT, second edition). If you calculate the cost of anger, you’re less likely to get angry when somebody’s pushing your buttons. The Bible is very specific about uncontrolled anger: “An angry person causes trouble; a person with a quick temper sins a lot” (Proverbs 29:22 NCV). “Hot tempers cause arguments” (Proverbs 15:18a TEV). “A hot temper shows great foolishness” (Proverbs 14:29b NLT, second edition). When you get angry, there is a cost: You’re going to get in trouble. You’re going to sin. You’re going to cause arguments. You’re going to make mistakes. When you lose your temper, you always lose, whether it’s respect, the love of your family, your health, or even your job. Maybe you use anger to motivate people to do the right thing. Don’t do it! In the short run, you may get the short-term payoff. But in the long run, anger always produces more anger, more apathy, and more alienation. How many kids have become alienated from their dads or their moms because of out-of-control anger? How many people have been alienated from a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a husband, a wife, or a friend because somebody lost his or her cool? Anger destroys relationships faster than anything else. So when someone starts pushing your buttons, before you retaliate, ask yourself, “Do I really want to push back? Do I want to cause a needless argument? Do I want to act foolish and fly off the handle?” Proverbs 14:29 says, “People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.” Instead of retaliating when someone pushes your buttons, trust that God will help you control your anger. He’s right there with you, helping you to let go of your anger.

Anger Yields Anger, Wisdom Yields Patience

Anger Yields Anger, Wisdom Yields Patience

By Rick Warren — Oct 25, 2016

“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV). Hurt people hurt people. When someone hurts you, it’s because they’ve been hurt. Unkind people have never felt kindness. Unloving people feel unloved. When someone is rude, bitter, unkind, sarcastic, mean spirited, or arrogant, they are shouting with all of their behaviors, “I am in pain! I need massive doses of love! I do not feel secure!” Because secure, loved people don’t act that way. The person who feels deeply loved and deeply secure is generous and gracious to other people. If you want to just get even with people, fine. You’re no better than they are. When you get even, you are no better than the person who has attacked you. To be better than that person, you overcome evil with good. You respond with love. You look past their words to their pain. Edwin Markum wrote a short poem that goes like this: “They drew a circle to shut me out, heretic, a rebel, a thing to flout. But love and I had the wit to win. We drew a circle that took them in.” Here’s a myth that everybody’s been sold by modern psychology but that is flat out wrong: You have only a set amount of anger in your life. It’s like you’ve got a bucket of anger. When that bucket gets full, modern psychologists say you need to express it. You need to just pour it out. Then, when the bucket is empty, it will be cathartic. If you believe this myth, you’re going to struggle with anger your entire life, because you don’t have a bucket of anger in your life. You have a factory! That factory can keep on producing and producing and producing. When you get rid of that, you’ll get more. In fact, the more anger you throw out, the more it produces. Study after study has shown that aggression only creates more aggression. Angry outbursts more often lead to more anger, until it becomes a habitual pattern in your life. The answer is not just to throw your anger out. It will just refill! The answer is to let it go. God will help you do that! “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV).

Courageous People Resolve Conflict

Courageous People Resolve Conflict By Rick Warren — Oct 27, 2016 “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT, second edition). Why does God want us to live at peace with everyone? Because unresolved conflict has three devastating effects in your life. First, it blocks your fellowship with God. When you’re out of whack with others, you can’t be in harmony with God. When you’re distracted, when you’re in conflict with other people, you cannot have a clear connection with God. The Bible says, “If someone says, ‘I love God,’ but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar” (1 John 4:20a NLT, second edition). Second, unresolved conflict hinders your prayers. Over and over again the Bible says that where there is conflict and sin and disharmony in your life, your prayers are blocked. Third, unsolved conflict hinders your happiness. You cannot be happy and in conflict at the same time. When conflict comes in the front door, happiness goes out the back. So, don’t you want to get rid of the conflict in your life? The starting point of resolving any conflict is to take the initiative. Don’t wait for the other person to come to you; go to that person. You be the peacemaker. Don’t ignore the conflict. Don’t deny the conflict. Don’t push the conflict under the carpet. Have you heard the expression, “Time heals everything”? That’s a bunch of bologna. Time heals nothing! Actually, time makes things worse. When you’ve got an open wound and you don’t deal with it, it festers. Anger turns to resentment, and resentment turns to bitterness. The conflict is not going to resolve itself. You’ve got to intentionally deal with it. Only courageous people resolve conflict. Maybe the most courageous thing you can do is face an issue that you’ve been ignoring for a long time in your marriage, with your kids, with your employees or your boss, or whoever. Where do you find the courage to face it? You get it from God. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 1:7, “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” That means if you let God’s Spirit fill your life, you're going to be filled with power, love, and self-discipline. And God’s love overcomes fear.

Do You Need a Heart Transplant?

By Rick Warren — Oct 26, 2016 “The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that” (Proverbs 29:25 MSG). If you’re going to get control of anger in your life, you must base your identity in Jesus, understanding that he loves you unconditionally, that you are his, that you are valuable, and that he has a purpose and plan for your life. If you build your identity on anything else, you’ll struggle with insecurity your whole life. You can build your identity on your job, but you can lose your job. You can build your identity on how good-looking you are, but you may lose your good looks. You can build your identity on the person you married, but he or she is going to die. You can build your identity on being popular, but you’re not always going to be popular. If you build your identity on anything that can be taken away from you, you’re going to be insecure, and insecurity is at the root of your anger. Until you start feeling secure about yourself, people are going to be able to push your buttons. When you know who you are and whose you are, people can’t push your buttons. They can’t get to you. Anger and insecurity go together. The more insecure you feel, the angrier you feel. The Bible says in Proverbs 29:25, “The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that” (MSG). When you get angry, your mouth just reveals what’s inside your heart. A harsh tongue reveals an angry heart. A negative tongue reveals a fearful heart. A boasting tongue reveals an insecure heart. An overactive tongue reveals an unsettled heart. A judgmental tongue reveals a guilty heart. A critical tongue reveals a bitter heart. A filthy tongue reveals an impure heart. On the other hand, an encouraging tongue reveals a happy heart, a gentle tongue reveals a loving heart, and a controlled tongue reveals a peaceful heart. You know what you need to get rid of your anger problem? You need a heart transplant. Fortunately, God specializes in heart transplants. It’s called salvation! God gives you a brand new heart and a brand new identity. You don’t have to find your identity in your job or your bank account or your good looks or your relationships, because you find your identity in what God says about you. Jesus can heal the three things that cause anger: hurt, frustration, and fear. Jesus can heal your hurting heart with his love. Jesus can replace your frustrated heart with his peace. Jesus can replace your insecure heart with a heart full of his strength and love. If you pick up a crying baby and hold it close so that it feels warm and secure, it stops crying. It stops being angry. When you feel secure and accepted in Jesus Christ, your anger is going to dissipate. Maybe you need to pray this prayer today: “Dear God, I admit I have a problem with my anger. I let other people push my buttons, I get even, and I don’t think before speaking. I’m asking for your help. Help me to reflect before reacting. Help me to learn to release my anger appropriately. I want to find my identity in you. I surrender myself completely to you. Come into my life. Save me. Amen.”

Best way to spend free time

What is the best way for you to spend your free time?

When you feel stressed and worn-out, mid time is your best friend. Every person has its own way in managing their free time. They might spend their time with their beloved ones or somebody else.

I usually spend my time with my sisters. They are sugar which sweetens my days, I also have my own time. Every time I feel blue and there’s nobody to share with, I take my time alone and have a rest.

Exploring something new is what I do when I have leisure time. I won’t block any opportunities that come up because I believe that it will make my knowledge wider. Playing guitar is also one thing that I usually do. When playing it, I feel relaxed and it soothes me.

Furthermore, my free time may go normal or extraordinary based on what I do. I make my time as productive as possible by doing something fun yet it gives me benefits.

                                                                                                Aurellia Tanica Indrawan